An obituary is more than just a public notice of someone’s passing—it’s a way to honor a life, share memories, and invite others to join in remembrance. Whether it appears in a local newspaper, on a funeral home’s website, or on social media, an obituary can be simple and factual or deeply personal and heartfelt. Here are some guidelines on what to include and how to choose the right words.

The Purpose of an Obituary

An obituary serves several purposes. It informs friends, relatives, and the community about a person’s death and provides details about memorial or funeral services. It also celebrates the life that was lived—highlighting achievements, relationships, and qualities that made the person unique.

For many families, writing the obituary is an important step in the grieving process. It allows them to reflect on their loved one’s life and to share that story with others.

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Key Information to Include

While there’s no single correct format, most obituaries include a few essential elements:

• Full name of the deceased – You may also include a nickname, maiden name, or any name by which the person was commonly known.
• Dates of birth and death – These help readers place the person’s life in time.
• Place of residence – Often the city or town where the person lived most recently.
• Brief biographical summary – A few sentences about the person’s life, such as where they grew up, their education, career, hobbies, or community involvement.
• Names of surviving family members – Typically spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, or other close relatives.
• Service details – Time, date, and location of the funeral, memorial, or celebration of life.
• Memorial preferences – For example, “In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to…” or “The family requests that memorial contributions go to…”

These details can be adjusted to reflect the family’s wishes and the personality of the deceased.

Choosing the Right Tone and Words

The tone of an obituary can vary widely. Some families prefer a traditional, formal style, while others choose a more conversational or affectionate tone. The most important thing is that it feels true to the person being remembered.

• Traditional: “John A. Smith, beloved husband and father, passed away peacefully on March 10, 2024.”
• Personal: “John Smith, whose laughter filled every room he entered, left us on March 10, 2024.”
• Simple and heartfelt: “We will miss you always.”

If you’re unsure where to start, look at other obituaries in your local paper or online for inspiration. Funeral directors can also provide examples and guidance.

Including a Quote or Verse

A short quote, poem, or line from a favorite book can add a meaningful touch. It might reflect the person’s beliefs, sense of humor, or outlook on life. Choose something that feels authentic and easy to read. It doesn’t have to be religious or formal—just something that captures the spirit of the person.

Practical Considerations

When preparing to publish an obituary, there are a few practical matters to keep in mind:

• Where to publish: Many families choose both a local newspaper and an online obituary page hosted by the funeral home.
• When to publish: Some prefer to post before the service to invite attendance, while others wait until afterward if the ceremony is private.
• Who should be listed as the author or family contact: This could be “The Smith Family,” “His loving wife and children,” or specific names.

Before submitting, review the obituary carefully for accuracy—especially names, dates, and service details.

Making It Personal—With Care

An obituary doesn’t have to be long to be meaningful. A few well-chosen details—a favorite pastime, a phrase the person often said, or a small story—can make it deeply personal. At the same time, consider what should remain private. If there are differing opinions within the family, take time to discuss and agree on what feels right for everyone.

A Final Tribute

Writing an obituary can be both emotional and healing. It’s a way to say goodbye, to share a life story, and to create a lasting record of love and remembrance. Take your time, choose your words thoughtfully, and remember—there’s no single “right” way to write an obituary. What matters most is that it feels genuine, respectful, and full of heart.